New Beginnings

Dear lord. This place has grown some mighty cobwebs...



I guess it's been a while. Hi everyone! First of all, and because you're reading this... thank you. I can't even begin to fathom why on earth you'd still be keeping tabs on this space, but you deserve an award for it. So there's that. Second of all... you may or may not remember my dramatic escape a little over a year ago. In any case. This is my not-so-dramatic return. From today on, you'll be able to find me over at Architects Of Decay.

Have a wonderful new year! :D
xx

So... MIA Or KIA?

Everything's Coming Up Roses, Amy Guidry.

So I know I've been a little... outside the loop. The usual excuses apply. I've been trying to keep up with NaNoWriMo, I'm swamped with college work, the light's been bad for photos, rain's been keeping me inside... but even though all these excuses are true, the reason behind my absence lies elsewhere.

I guess you could say I've been having a bit of trouble between me, myself and I. It's hard to describe. I feel as if... as if I've blinked and now that my eyes are once again wide open, the world had changed. The colors and shapes look different, the words take ilogical meanings, the people feel strange and foreign. But then I look in the mirror and realise the world's the same. It's just me that's changed.

My skin feels different. I wish I could escape it and grow a new one. Like a snake. My hair feels different. My eyes feel different. My clothes feel different. It's as if I'm living in a borrowed body, dressed in borrowed clothes, looking from behind borrowed glasses, hiding under borrowed hair.

I guess I just need to this break to make it all mine again. To conquer myself from inside out. I realise my words might be conjuring up some sort of gory image of a bloody, skeletal, humanoid creature ripping out its own skin... but even though the physical part of this process is nowhere near as painful, the emotional side of it has been terrible. It hurts when you look in the mirror and don't recognise the person staring back.

All these metaphors have been used up and abused, but I can't quite find other words to describe what's going on in my mind right now. I need to get away, that's all. In the real world, that isn't quite possible, I'm aware. Everyday I walk out the house feeling bittersweet because I'm a creature in transition. Not quite catterpillar, not quite butterfly. I wish I could build myself a coccoon and hide from the world until I'm ready to face it. But time won't quite stop for my identity crisis, I fear.

Online though, I can escape. This blog has been, for the past year or so, the most faithful reflection of who I am - we're very much symbiotic, if you'd like. I pour my mind into this little corner, and in turn, this little corner helps me limit a personality that - I've known it forever - is pretty much all over the place. That's how I feel right now. All over the place. So no matter what I write here, it'll only add up to that feeling. Escape is - excuse the slight pun - the only way out.

This means that this might be one of the last - if not the very last - post in this blog. Thank you all for putting up with me, for dropping by once in a while. This blog wasn't created for you, but it's good to know it speaks to you anyway. I love sharing my thoughts with you and I love it when you share yours back. I hope you realise that every single one of you, you're all potential best friends - if we're not best friends already, that is.

Thank you for the wonderful ride, everyone. ♥

This isn't goodbye. I'll come back after I've regrown my wings.
xx

I Think Sometimes You Have To Cut Through.

Do you guys know that question? If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be? Well even though I spend a considerable amount of time thinking about clothes... well I'd never actually given it much thought. I mean, it's such an unrealistic scenario. It didn't even seem possible to me, on a conceptual level, to answer that question. I'd seen people answer it with "oh I'd wear jeans a white shirt, no problem" and that didn't make much sense to me... but at once I'd also seen people say "I'd rather die" or "I'd just wear a little black dress with different accessories every day".

Well isn't that kind of missing the point? One outfit means one outfit.
And I found mine a couple of days ago.


Image links back to source. Click it, it's a lovely editorial! ♥
I'd just add a silver rosary and switch the shoes for black booties,but other than that... this is it.
If I could only wear one outfit for the rest of my life, this would be it.

It's not outlandish, not at all. It's not fabulously quirky nor crazily out there and the lack of sleeves is making my currently near-frozen fingers hurt, but it's perfect in its simplicity. I can't think of a single place I wouldn't be able to wear it to. The shorts take it up to a whole new level of versatility - because yes, I have been wearing shorts nearly non-stop for the past week because they just make me feel more comfortable in the cooler weather. That, and I can sit in stupid ways without having to worry about lady-like manners. The shirt looks like it's got a really nice cut and weight, and I like the black strip down the neckline and under the arms. And the cape... well, I have a thing for capes. I wear my regular coats as capes and I'll never get over how dramatic they look. So the cape is definititely a must. Then I'd add the silver rosary because I wear a rosary 80% of the time - 19% of the time I'm wearing the crystal quartz pendant, and for the last 1% I'm wearing every other necklace - and I find them quite lovely. The beads are always so intricate and besides, they're good conversation starters. If I had a penny for everytime people have asked me I'm a devoted catholic... oh, right, and then black booties. Because they're my default footwear, crazy comfortable, and go from season to season like nothing else.

Ah. Quite a testament, there, huh.
What about you all? If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?
xx

-

PS - Also, did anyone watch the EMAs? I may or may not have spammed Twitter about Big Bang, but then again I was psyched to see them there. Congrats on your Best Worldwide Act Award, you dorks! :D